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Trading jokes
Sep 15, 2014 at 06:50
A banker walked once in the park and noticed a large frog that sat alone by the pond. When the banker passed her, frog suddenly spoke: "Excuse me, but ... aren't you a banker?"
Surprised banker was only able to say: "Yes, indeed, I am a banker. Why do you ask? ""Well," - said the frog, - "the fact is that I worked as an analyst and my predictions come true not quite. Therefore, CEO put a curse on me and turned me into a frog. Curse will fall, if I kiss banker. Then I will be able to work again as an analyst and make predictions. "
The banker thought for a moment, then leaned over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket and walked away. "Hey, what are you doing?" - Cried the frog out of his pocket - "just kiss me, and I'll go myself next to you, and you do not have to drag me."
The banker stopped, looked at the frog and said, "Yes, it's true, but ... talking frog is worth a lot of analytysts."
Surprised banker was only able to say: "Yes, indeed, I am a banker. Why do you ask? ""Well," - said the frog, - "the fact is that I worked as an analyst and my predictions come true not quite. Therefore, CEO put a curse on me and turned me into a frog. Curse will fall, if I kiss banker. Then I will be able to work again as an analyst and make predictions. "
The banker thought for a moment, then leaned over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket and walked away. "Hey, what are you doing?" - Cried the frog out of his pocket - "just kiss me, and I'll go myself next to you, and you do not have to drag me."
The banker stopped, looked at the frog and said, "Yes, it's true, but ... talking frog is worth a lot of analytysts."
Sep 15, 2014 at 07:21
Rothschild's yacht was wrecked in the Caribbean.
Rothschild and his wife arrived safely to a small atoll on an inflatable raft. After seeing the atoll, he calmly sat down on the sand and watched the sea.
- What are you waiting for, the old fool, we've never be find here, we'll die of hunger and thirst, as do something, asshole !!! - Hysterically screamed at his wife.
- Calm down, dear. Listen to what I tell you. Three years ago, I remember at of July 23, I donated to the Main Synagogue of America 500 thousand dollars. A year later, after a successful transaction on the exchange, again, I decided to make a donation to them, and on the same day, July of 23, I sent into their account 700 thousand dollars. Last year, my oil stocks sharply went up, and I earned 12 billions with their sales. One million, as always, by tradition, at July of 23, I sent to the synagogue. That's it.
- Well, so what? - Asked his wife.
- And that, my dear, today is a July of 22 and will be held two days as they find us !!!
Rothschild and his wife arrived safely to a small atoll on an inflatable raft. After seeing the atoll, he calmly sat down on the sand and watched the sea.
- What are you waiting for, the old fool, we've never be find here, we'll die of hunger and thirst, as do something, asshole !!! - Hysterically screamed at his wife.
- Calm down, dear. Listen to what I tell you. Three years ago, I remember at of July 23, I donated to the Main Synagogue of America 500 thousand dollars. A year later, after a successful transaction on the exchange, again, I decided to make a donation to them, and on the same day, July of 23, I sent into their account 700 thousand dollars. Last year, my oil stocks sharply went up, and I earned 12 billions with their sales. One million, as always, by tradition, at July of 23, I sent to the synagogue. That's it.
- Well, so what? - Asked his wife.
- And that, my dear, today is a July of 22 and will be held two days as they find us !!!
Sep 16, 2014 at 06:37
peeterwoolf posted:
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.
An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today.
Very true!
Sooner or later, I can crack the code!
forex_trader_178891
会员从Feb 26, 2014开始
97帖子
Sep 17, 2014 at 16:43
I am not sure about a joke ,but I am sure I love my wife more when I lose money . (hehhe may be I feel useless , feel guilty ??? ).
My wife can tell if I win or I lose .
Every time I cook for her or come over hold her tight and said " honey I love you so much " .
She start ask " did you lose again ? dont risk too much ok " .
Well , I try hard to bring her both money and love .
but seem like she can only have one .
Seem like the old saying " money & love cant be together " is really valid .
My wife can tell if I win or I lose .
Every time I cook for her or come over hold her tight and said " honey I love you so much " .
She start ask " did you lose again ? dont risk too much ok " .
Well , I try hard to bring her both money and love .
but seem like she can only have one .
Seem like the old saying " money & love cant be together " is really valid .
会员从Jun 09, 2014开始
134帖子
Sep 28, 2014 at 10:08
Niiiiice. Love the pic :)
Oct 03, 2014 at 11:28
Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each. The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them.
The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at $20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.
Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer increased to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it!
The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him.
In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers; "Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each."
The villagers rounded up with all their savings and bought all the monkeys.
They never saw the man nor his assistant, only monkeys everywhere!
Now you have a better understanding of how the stock market works.
The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at $20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.
Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer increased to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it!
The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him.
In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers; "Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each."
The villagers rounded up with all their savings and bought all the monkeys.
They never saw the man nor his assistant, only monkeys everywhere!
Now you have a better understanding of how the stock market works.
Oct 03, 2014 at 11:28
An accountant goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner shows him three identical parrots on a perch and says, "The parrot on the left costs $500.""Why does that parrot cost so much?" asks the accountant."Well," replies the owner, "it knows how to do complex audits.""How much does the middle parrot cost?" asks the accountant."That one costs $1,000 because it can do everything the first one can do plus it knows how to prepare financial forecasts".
The startled accountant asks about the third parrot, to be told it costs $4,000. Needless to say, this begs the question, "What can it do?"
To which the owner replies "To be honest, I've never seen him do a darn thing, but the other two call him Senior Partner."
The startled accountant asks about the third parrot, to be told it costs $4,000. Needless to say, this begs the question, "What can it do?"
To which the owner replies "To be honest, I've never seen him do a darn thing, but the other two call him Senior Partner."
会员从Sep 26, 2014开始
7帖子
Oct 03, 2014 at 15:55
I would like to thank all the people who posted on this thread. Good and entertaining distraction from my trading screens. Relieves a little stress. Please keep posting.
"Together We Grow"---Minimum of 100% every year with compounding
