Trading jokes

Hi guys! I would like to propose you to smile or even laugh for a little bit. 😄 Here is a thread where everyone can post a jokes about trading and Forex, and make our days more funny 😉
Let me start 😳

First, they asked analysts: 'If you're so smart, why are you so poor?'
Then: 'It turns out you're not so smart. Why are you so rich? '

- Please do not close your position by a margin call, I am a former broker.
- It is for this reason I will close, I am a former trader.

Trader has an interview In the finance company
At the interview hr asked:
- Why you were fired from your previous job?
- For the health reasons.
- Are you sick?
- My boss was sick, but I'm not. Every time he saw the results of my work, he felt bad. Some of us had to go.

Unemployed broker sells potatoes at the market, always easy to find - he has two prices: to buy and to sale ...

Two weary traders go home after a busy day.
One to another:
- Hey, the subway had already closed!
- Yes? And at what price?

When an analyst says that market expectations are 'uncertain', he means that the theory says one thing and real life - the opposite.

Customer asked an analyst:
- Tell me, are your predictions always match?
- Of course, always, just sometimes dates do not match ...

The question 'How much is 2x2?'was asked to the housewives, mathematic and Financial Advisor.
Housewife, without hesitation, answered '4'.
Mathematician, with a little reflection, said: '4, but for accuracy, I should consult with the theoretical calculations.'
Fin. Consultant closed office door, drew the curtains, gently sank into a chair, and stared intently at his companion, asked: 'And how much would you like to get?'

While the dealer versed in situation - the situation changed dramatically.

An old broker dies and calls his three sons.
- You - appeals to the older, - inherit my house and live there with your family.
- You, - says the average - I leave all my money.
- And you, - he continued the conversation with the younger, - the only one of the three sons who inherited my profession. I'll leave you two of my customers, who will feed you for life.

mariav posted:
 An old broker dies and calls his three sons.
- You - appeals to the older, - inherit my house and live there with your family.
- You, - says the average - I leave all my money.
- And you, - he continued the conversation with the younger, - the only one of the three sons who inherited my profession. I'll leave you two of my customers, who will feed you for life.

Awesome! Haha!

Very nice thread....please keep posting

How different people enjoy life.

takechance posted:
Very nice thread....please keep posting

I am really glad that you like it! 😄 Promise to post as much as i can😉

Two traders went on a trip in a balloon and strayed off course. Suddenly, they saw a man at the bottom.
- Hey, buddy, tell me, where are we?
- You - on a hot air balloon!
- Hey, buddy, you're probably a financial analyst?
- How did you know?
- The typical response of the analyst: absolutely accurate and completely useless!
- Ah ... And you probably traders?
- And how did you know?
- You guys always do not know where you are!

The wife asks her husband: You work as a trader, right? Could you explain to me what are you doing?
The husband answered: Well, now imagine - we decided to make some money for breeding rabbits.
We bought them with all our money. And at next day flood came and all the rabbits were drowned.
And here we sit with you and think: why haven't we bought a fishes???

Paradise. Long line ...
Suddenly angels lead a man. Small, bald, twitching. And lead him directly in the best palace. Here Pope indignantly: 'What is going on? why I need to wait? I am a righteous governor of God, and you are leading in front of me in the best apartments some sinners to settle! '
The archangel says, ' You Popes are almost everywhere but we've met an honest broker for the first time ...'

Two traders are speaking:
- You know, I opened the scoring system for trouble-free forex trading. With it you can always win!
- It's impossible. Under any system today you win, and tomorrow you lose.
- That's it. So I'm only trading day after day

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today.