Why I'm Proud of Myself (Now)

No ramble Intu, thanks for taking the time to write.

I didn't erase the system from MyFxBook...it is still there....but I do not make my systems public. This may sound odd but I have social anxiety and I think I would feel performance anxiety if I had everyone else peeping on me and my trading.

I'll say a couple of things to what you said--

Yes, I guess I do have an 'edge'. As I've mentioned in this thread and elsewhere, I managed to erase all my losses at one point-- 25% of the account! That is very difficult. But I had a good 2 weeks (up until this morning). I have been making 20% each week, trading very conservative sizes and only risking 2% each trade.

It's like a Jekyll and Hyde for me-- I do great when I follow my system and use money management. So great that even when I have days where I lose 10%, 15% I can rebound within the next few days. But because of my emotional trading (more like news trading), I take one step forward and three steps backwards. Had I not been fooling around and getting off track from my 'mechanical' trading I would probably be up 50% on the account only 2 weeks into trading (which is extraordinary, I know, but it is not as hard as you think with weekly goals).

I live in CST (USA), but I usually trade from Sydney open (late afternoon) to NY open (7:30 AM). I am in the process of changing my schedule so I sleep better and feel more refreshed in my odd trading hours.

For me, I think the biggest killer is impatience. I wait all day or even several days for a trade to develop and by then I am so frustrated with waiting I take early profits or get out at break even. And shortly thereafter, the trade starts taking off!!! 😂

Or, the biggest trades with the best R/R ratio happen when I am sleeping. lol

But speaking of sleeping, I did make 200 pips profit on a EUR/USD earlier this week while I was asleep. 😄
So maybe I just watch the market too much? I have thought about this-- if I have a system and a trade appears based on that system, and I apply position sizing and R/R ratios, and everything looks good....then I should just enter the trade, set the SL and TP, and close my platform. Because the trade is either A) Going to hit my SL, or B) Hit my TP. So I shouldn't be watching it. That seems to be my issue.

Aaargh the perils of trading. lol

UPDATE:

Seems I trade best when I'm asleep lol...made 164 pips last night....now only down 7.5%
Hope to clear my losses by the end of this week!

Two losers in a row. Should've taken profit on my GBP/USD trade knowing big reports were coming. Ah well.
Back down 11.20%, hope to get back to 7.5% within the next trade.

(TP are twice the SL)

Yikes, stopped out AGAIN on a trade I had confidence on.

Down ~13% man this sucks, I'm pretty much giving back my gains from the 15th 😞

I'm not trading 'wrong,' I am following my system to the dot-- I guess news or something is messing with the markets?

Very good thoughts from Intu.
Please consider what he wrote about position sizes. If you only traded 1/10th you'd be down only 1.3%.
You can have longer periods of drawdowns and bleeding that you'd think. -13% now, a couple more unlucky weeks and then it's 'time out!'

Intu posted:
You are trading too big. These swings are too large.
...
Good Luck!

I use a position sizing calculator that only risks 2% per trade. My biggest losses have occurred either because I entered the wrong number or I was foolish and did not use it. My recent losses were just losers, nothing to do with bad position sizing.

Had a winner last night so I'm back to -9.6%. Maybe should've waited to see if it would run (it will be my luck if it does), but EUR/USD has a bullish daily and I'm not comfortable trading against it.

alrite Sean, my fine young man, you'll figure what's good for you, of that I'm sure. Just take your time, nice & slow. You have all the time in the world. Re 2 % per trade, well, it's a lot more than say 0.5 or 1% but after all, 'it's your funeral'. 😉

speki posted:
    alrite Sean, my fine young man, you'll figure what's good for you, of that I'm sure. Just take your time, nice & slow. You have all the time in the world. Re 2 % per trade, well, it's a lot more than say 0.5 or 1% but after all, 'it's your funeral'. 😉

Yeah, not taking my time and going too fast is what got me into this drawdown in the first place. It's funny because I will gain 20% in a week but give it back in 20 minutes. I am really getting tired of that happening so now I'm taking it easy lol

As far as the 2% risk per trade, I think that is a reasonable amount. Because my account is fairly small, the R/R for anything smaller wouldn't be worth the time or effort IMO. If I had a larger account then I might use 1%

Right now I am aiming for risking 2% and gaining 4% per trade. So far it's working out OK. Because I had 2 winners in a row on the 15th, it would take 4 losers in a row to wipe that out. I had 3 losers in a row but just had another winner, so it would take another 3 losers in a row before I get back to where I was before 15th. Of course, technically I am still 'losing' since the account is down nearly 10% but the plan is to work myself back into profit by next week, and to stop my wreckless trading that got me in the hole in the first place. It's all very psychological for me, strange really. I get into profit a few % and then it's almost as if I want myself to fail....I slip back into the red. I think the account I blew last year is still in my subconscious.

But, as I keep telling myself now, slow and steady wins the race. 😄

Hm, interesting thoghts. Subconscious desire to fail, I think I've read something about it. Does it mean you keep doing what hurts instead of doing something that would take you forward? Why is that? I agree it's all very psychological, not only for yourself ... anyway keep us posted and don't give up 😉

speki posted:
    Hm, interesting thoghts. Subconscious desire to fail, I think I've read something about it. Does it mean you keep doing what hurts instead of doing something that would take you forward? Why is that? I agree it's all very psychological, not only for yourself ... anyway keep us posted and don't give up 😉

Yes, that's essentially what it means. And I have no idea why I'm doing it to myself, but I do have a string of issues it could be related to. lol

UPDATE: Bailed ship on a good EUR trade that will likely keep going but had touched a Bollinger band on an hourly and issued a bullish cross on a daily. Needless to say, I'm happy because I bagged more than twice my SL in profit.

Currently down ~4 pips in another trade, but the diagnosis looks good on that trade and just need to be patient.

Overall, now the account is only down -5.3%. So I very may well erase my losses this week and get into profit (or close to it, if I get within 1-2% I won't complain 😄)...it all depends since I usually don't trade Fridays due to slow markets.

Yup...I was right...EUR has since taken a skydive....could be 30+ pips further by now. Oh well. The other trade ran flat, so I got out with enough profit to cover the cents interest I was charged this week. I actually could've got out with a few dollars but was busy playing video games and didn't check the charts for an hour 😁

Looks like I'm probably done for the week so will try again Sunday evening when Tokyo opens or if no opportunities then perhaps Monday or Tuesday evening. I would prefer to end this week on a better note, but I have erased quite a bit of losses. My goal is to be back in +profit by Wednesday.

I ended last Friday (13th...ironic ha) down nearly -15% but managed to bring it to -5.25% a week later. Which means I gained about 10% this week. Not too bad...eh? Now if only I could PROFIT 10% every week!

I think I would be happy with 40-50% a month. (Not necessarily 'doubling' my account every month as I am trying to do, BUT I have gained 10% this week with only 8 trades--- not being aggressive at all.) At 50% per month I would almost be up to $20K by the end of the year. And then I start my 'millionaire-in-18-months' challenge, doesn't hurt to dream 😉

On Friday I actually got into another trade...a complete 'no-brainer' as they call it (overbought Stochs, piercing uppermost Bollinger, tweezer top reversal candlestick pattern, etc), and held it over the weekend. Used half-size position 'just in case' but now I wish I had used full size I normally trade! Currently 100+ pips into profit, stop-loss is beyond breakeven, ZERO risk, so I'm going to let it run. If it hits my target, all previous losses will be erased. Actually could've got out of it early this morning and it would've left a percent or two of losses remaining, but the price I got in at is a peak and consolidation is due to drive it further downward. Will be disappointed if price retreats and hits my stop loss, but since no matter what it will end with a profit, so I guess I can't complain!! 😄

In the meantime, I have been using my time to put together an effective forex trading plan to reach $100K within 1 year. I am confident that it can be done. Once I get past Month #1, all it takes is 600-700 pips a month profit and I will hit $100K by the end of May 2012. Only requires 2-4 wins per week of 55-60 pips each. Risk is maximum 2% of balance (not equity) for each trade. Much less ambitious than my original idea of 'doubling' the account every month (would result in over $700K lol), but then again it is much more attainable. I will be launching this plan into effect starting this June 1st.

Dummy me waited out too long and gave back some of the profits upon a better inflation report. Still ended up with ~74 pips but my next two trades were placed and have been stopped out while I was asleep! 😞

Ugh, I was doing so well! Currently in another trade but down 10 pips.

Looks like I'm still going to be stuck at -5% for awhile 😑

Also not happy with Oanda right since they close my trade 1 pip (3 pips on MT4) before a stop-loss which it actually never hit! Can they do that?? I am going to try to get a credit but doubt they will give me one.

Spread, it was probably the spread. Market price plus / minus the spread hit the SL.

Splexin posted:
Also not happy with Oanda right since they close my trade 1 pip (3 pips on MT4) before a stop-loss which it actually never hit! Can they do that?? I am going to try to get a credit but doubt they will give me one.

speki posted:
    Spread, it was probably the spread. Market price plus / minus the spread hit the SL.

Splexin posted:
Also not happy with Oanda right since they close my trade 1 pip (3 pips on MT4) before a stop-loss which it actually never hit! Can they do that?? I am going to try to get a credit but doubt they will give me one.

They explained it to me. It was a Short order so price goes on Ask whereas I was looking at Mid and Bid.

I've lost 3 in a row so now down -6% things aren't looking great I wanted to be out of the hole by now 😞
All started with me not getting out when I should and not staying in when I should! lol I was in AUD/USD but got so impatient of it stalling that I got out with $1 profit but guess what? 10 minutes later it took a dive! Aaaarrggh! 😂

LOL after meat mustard yeah I know.
Try some relaxing music.
Did it ever cross your mind, maybe you should hit BUY instead of SELL and SELL instead of BUY? You'd be up 6 % now ... easier said than done I know LOLZ

Share your performance. Let others see what you are doing.
You will receive praise (and criticism), but it will help you evolve.
Others have gone through the same trials and difficulties.

Reading your posts, it feels like you are on an 'emotional rollercoaster',
I only think that because I have experienced something similar.

Either way,
Good Luck!

LOL speki yes of course but you see the market is out to get me and always does the opposite of what I want 😝
And actually I would be far higher than 6%....I've gained 19-20% this month....but because I lost 25% last month I am still down lol

@Intu Check your PM. As mentioned before I'm not keen on the whole world looking over my shoulder, I have enough difficulty as it is. Maybe when I actually start profiting I will make it public 😝

Emotional rollercoaster, yes. But getting better, stronger, and wiser every day. Just need to work on my patience a bit. I am still tempted to over-leverage but always tell myself that's what got me in the hole in the first place. When you look at the trades you will see that lol Some of my trades were just pure dumb moves, others occurred just because. I win more than I lose but because I don't let winners run I am still down.

Great start to June.....almost break-even now....I was initially scared because Monday I was back to 13% under but stuck to trading mechanically and have since had winning trades....

Currently only -0.55% (-1.98% abs) down so one more good trade should put me back on top. Made 6% just today!! Had I waited 5 minutes I would be in profit about $20....ah well....lol

Amazing what a fight this has been. My trading has definitely evolved, and my performance is proving that my system works. Even with losing 5 trades in a row (yes, consecutive losers) this week, I am still HIGHER in gain and balance than I was this time last week. I am on the brink of $1500 and goal is to reach $2000 by the end of June. I have a written trading plan with goals and if I hit monthly targets on time and on cue then I will have $100K by this time next year. Stay tuned. 😉 Anyways, I think I am going to take an early weekend. Don't want crazy NFP to hamper my mood 😄