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Why I'm Proud of Myself (Now)

Splexin
May 13 2011 at 19:50
202 posts
No ramble Intu, thanks for taking the time to write.

I didn't erase the system from MyFxBook...it is still there....but I do not make my systems public. This may sound odd but I have social anxiety and I think I would feel performance anxiety if I had everyone else peeping on me and my trading.

I'll say a couple of things to what you said--

Yes, I guess I do have an 'edge'. As I've mentioned in this thread and elsewhere, I managed to erase all my losses at one point-- 25% of the account! That is very difficult. But I had a good 2 weeks (up until this morning). I have been making 20% each week, trading very conservative sizes and only risking 2% each trade.

It's like a Jekyll and Hyde for me-- I do great when I follow my system and use money management. So great that even when I have days where I lose 10%, 15% I can rebound within the next few days. But because of my emotional trading (more like news trading), I take one step forward and three steps backwards. Had I not been fooling around and getting off track from my 'mechanical' trading I would probably be up 50% on the account only 2 weeks into trading (which is extraordinary, I know, but it is not as hard as you think with weekly goals).

I live in CST (USA), but I usually trade from Sydney open (late afternoon) to NY open (7:30 AM). I am in the process of changing my schedule so I sleep better and feel more refreshed in my odd trading hours.

For me, I think the biggest killer is impatience. I wait all day or even several days for a trade to develop and by then I am so frustrated with waiting I take early profits or get out at break even. And shortly thereafter, the trade starts taking off!!! 😂

Or, the biggest trades with the best R/R ratio happen when I am sleeping. lol

But speaking of sleeping, I did make 200 pips profit on a EUR/USD earlier this week while I was asleep. 😄
So maybe I just watch the market too much? I have thought about this-- if I have a system and a trade appears based on that system, and I apply position sizing and R/R ratios, and everything looks good....then I should just enter the trade, set the SL and TP, and close my platform. Because the trade is either A) Going to hit my SL, or B) Hit my TP. So I shouldn't be watching it. That seems to be my issue.

Aaargh the perils of trading. lol

Splexin
May 16 2011 at 17:59
202 posts
UPDATE:

Seems I trade best when I'm asleep lol...made 164 pips last night....now only down 7.5%
Hope to clear my losses by the end of this week!

Splexin
May 18 2011 at 01:51
202 posts
Two losers in a row. Should've taken profit on my GBP/USD trade knowing big reports were coming. Ah well.
Back down 11.20%, hope to get back to 7.5% within the next trade.

(TP are twice the SL)

Splexin
May 18 2011 at 03:29
202 posts
Yikes, stopped out AGAIN on a trade I had confidence on.

Down ~13% man this sucks, I'm pretty much giving back my gains from the 15th 😞

I'm not trading 'wrong,' I am following my system to the dot-- I guess news or something is messing with the markets?

speki
May 18 2011 at 11:34
735 posts
Very good thoughts from Intu.
Please consider what he wrote about position sizes. If you only traded 1/10th you'd be down only 1.3%.
You can have longer periods of drawdowns and bleeding that you'd think. -13% now, a couple more unlucky weeks and then it's 'time out!'

Intu posted:
You are trading too big. These swings are too large.
...
Good Luck!

Surround yourself with people whose eyes light up when they see you and who have no agenda for your reform.
Splexin
May 18 2011 at 13:19
202 posts
I use a position sizing calculator that only risks 2% per trade. My biggest losses have occurred either because I entered the wrong number or I was foolish and did not use it. My recent losses were just losers, nothing to do with bad position sizing.

Had a winner last night so I'm back to -9.6%. Maybe should've waited to see if it would run (it will be my luck if it does), but EUR/USD has a bullish daily and I'm not comfortable trading against it.

speki
May 18 2011 at 13:35
735 posts
alrite Sean, my fine young man, you'll figure what's good for you, of that I'm sure. Just take your time, nice & slow. You have all the time in the world. Re 2 % per trade, well, it's a lot more than say 0.5 or 1% but after all, 'it's your funeral'. 😉

Surround yourself with people whose eyes light up when they see you and who have no agenda for your reform.
Splexin
May 18 2011 at 15:04
202 posts
speki posted:
    alrite Sean, my fine young man, you'll figure what's good for you, of that I'm sure. Just take your time, nice & slow. You have all the time in the world. Re 2 % per trade, well, it's a lot more than say 0.5 or 1% but after all, 'it's your funeral'. 😉


Yeah, not taking my time and going too fast is what got me into this drawdown in the first place. It's funny because I will gain 20% in a week but give it back in 20 minutes. I am really getting tired of that happening so now I'm taking it easy lol

As far as the 2% risk per trade, I think that is a reasonable amount. Because my account is fairly small, the R/R for anything smaller wouldn't be worth the time or effort IMO. If I had a larger account then I might use 1%

Right now I am aiming for risking 2% and gaining 4% per trade. So far it's working out OK. Because I had 2 winners in a row on the 15th, it would take 4 losers in a row to wipe that out. I had 3 losers in a row but just had another winner, so it would take another 3 losers in a row before I get back to where I was before 15th. Of course, technically I am still 'losing' since the account is down nearly 10% but the plan is to work myself back into profit by next week, and to stop my wreckless trading that got me in the hole in the first place. It's all very psychological for me, strange really. I get into profit a few % and then it's almost as if I want myself to fail....I slip back into the red. I think the account I blew last year is still in my subconscious.

But, as I keep telling myself now, slow and steady wins the race. 😄

speki
May 18 2011 at 16:32
735 posts
Hm, interesting thoghts. Subconscious desire to fail, I think I've read something about it. Does it mean you keep doing what hurts instead of doing something that would take you forward? Why is that? I agree it's all very psychological, not only for yourself ... anyway keep us posted and don't give up 😉

Surround yourself with people whose eyes light up when they see you and who have no agenda for your reform.
Splexin
May 20 2011 at 11:54
202 posts
speki posted:
    Hm, interesting thoghts. Subconscious desire to fail, I think I've read something about it. Does it mean you keep doing what hurts instead of doing something that would take you forward? Why is that? I agree it's all very psychological, not only for yourself ... anyway keep us posted and don't give up 😉

Yes, that's essentially what it means. And I have no idea why I'm doing it to myself, but I do have a string of issues it could be related to. lol

UPDATE: Bailed ship on a good EUR trade that will likely keep going but had touched a Bollinger band on an hourly and issued a bullish cross on a daily. Needless to say, I'm happy because I bagged more than twice my SL in profit.

Currently down ~4 pips in another trade, but the diagnosis looks good on that trade and just need to be patient.

Overall, now the account is only down -5.3%. So I very may well erase my losses this week and get into profit (or close to it, if I get within 1-2% I won't complain 😄)...it all depends since I usually don't trade Fridays due to slow markets.

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