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Trading jokes

Sep 10, 2014 at 12:22
7,529 Angesehen
124 Replies
forex_trader_136673
Mitglied seit Jun 28, 2013   852 Posts
Oct 06, 2014 at 20:29
When one pair breaks the high and the other can't.

Mitglied seit Aug 08, 2014   115 Posts
Oct 07, 2014 at 07:00
111ForexGuru posted:
I would like to thank all the people who posted on this thread. Good and entertaining distraction from my trading screens. Relieves a little stress. Please keep posting.

Thank you, dear! I wanted to see just such a reaction, when I started this thread! I am really glad that it brings fun to your daily trading stuff😄
Mitglied seit Aug 08, 2014   115 Posts
Oct 07, 2014 at 07:00
Forex money manager goes at the street and very nice young lady ask him:

Lady: Dear sir, im making poll, can i ask you simple question?

Manager: Of course you can.

Lady: What is your average income?

Manager: My average income is around 200 000 $.

Lady: Im sorry, i thought your monthly income.

Manager: Im sorry, i thought daily.
Mitglied seit Aug 08, 2014   115 Posts
Oct 07, 2014 at 07:00
It was so cold today I saw a stockbroker with his hands in his own pockets.
Mitglied seit Aug 08, 2014   115 Posts
Oct 07, 2014 at 07:00
A long time ago, a visitor from out of town came to a tour in Manhattan. At the end of the tour they took him to the financial district. When they arrived to Battery Park the guide showed him some nice yachts anchoring there, and said, 'Here are the yachts of our bankers and stockbrokers.' 'And where are the yachts of the investors?' asked the naive visitor.
Mitglied seit Aug 08, 2014   115 Posts
Oct 07, 2014 at 07:00



Anhänge:

Mitglied seit Aug 08, 2014   115 Posts
Oct 07, 2014 at 07:00




Anhänge:

Mitglied seit Aug 08, 2014   115 Posts
Oct 07, 2014 at 07:00
Markets are crazy, every moment one guy buy, second sell and both think that they will make money.
Mitglied seit Aug 08, 2014   115 Posts
Oct 07, 2014 at 07:00
An Economist is an Expert, who will know tomorrow, why thinks he predict yesterday, didn't happen today.
Mitglied seit Aug 08, 2014   115 Posts
Oct 07, 2014 at 07:00



Anhänge:

Mitglied seit Sep 26, 2014   7 Posts
Oct 07, 2014 at 10:19
mariav posted:



I still remember this from 2012. I was in a similar situation where my wife asked to withdraw.
Sometime later when I do achieve success , I will definitely update my biography.
"Together We Grow"---Minimum of 100% every year with compounding
Mitglied seit Sep 26, 2014   7 Posts
Oct 07, 2014 at 10:20
mariav posted:




This is the one I was referring to and not the above one which was an error and can't seem to edit.
"Together We Grow"---Minimum of 100% every year with compounding
forex_trader_44345
Mitglied seit Aug 13, 2011   1 Posts
Oct 07, 2014 at 10:24
mariav posted:
John D. Rockefeller wanted to earn $ 100,000. and live to be 100.
He earned $ 318 billion and died in age of 97.
Not all dreams come true.

Nice.. Please keep at it :)
Mitglied seit Mar 27, 2014   3 Posts
Oct 07, 2014 at 12:37
nice
Mitglied seit Aug 08, 2014   115 Posts
Oct 14, 2014 at 06:38
How much money do you need?

'What's considered enough money? Just a little bit more'.
(Will Rogers)

'If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars'.
(J. Paul Getty)

'A billion here, a billion there, and pretty soon you're talking about real money'.
(Everett Dirksen)
Mitglied seit Aug 08, 2014   115 Posts
Oct 14, 2014 at 06:40
Einstein dies and goes to heaven only to be informed that his room is not yet ready. 'I hope you will not mind waiting in a dormitory. We are very sorry, but it's the best we can do and you will have to share the room with others' he is told by the doorman.
Einstein says that this is no problem at all and that there is no need to make such a great fuss. So the doorman leads him to the dorm. They enter and Albert is introduced to all of the present inhabitants. 'See, Here is your first room mate. He has an IQ of 180!'
'Why that's wonderful!' Says Albert. 'We can discuss mathematics!'
'And here is your second room mate. His IQ is 150!'
'Why that's wonderful!' Says Albert. 'We can discuss physics!'
'And here is your third room mate. His IQ is 100!'
'That Wonderful! We can discuss the latest plays at the theater!'
Just then another man moves out to capture Albert's hand and shake it. 'I'm your last room mate and I'm sorry, but my IQ is only 80.'
Albert smiles back at him and says, 'So, where do you think interest rates are headed?'
Mitglied seit Aug 08, 2014   115 Posts
Oct 14, 2014 at 06:41
A man was sent to Hell for his sins. As he was being processed, he passed a room where an economist he knew was having an intimate conversation with a beautiful woman.
'What a crummy deal!' the man complained. 'I have to burn for all eternity and that economist spends it with that gorgeous woman.'
An escorting demon jabs the man with his pitchfork and shouts, 'Who are you to question that woman's punishment?'
Mitglied seit Aug 08, 2014   115 Posts
Oct 14, 2014 at 06:44
Meaning of... 'potentially' and 'realistically'

A young boy went up to his father and asked him, 'Dad, what is the
difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?'

The father thought for a moment, then answered, 'Go ask your mother
if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask
your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars,
and then, ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million
dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that.'

So the boy went to his mother and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad
Pitt for a million dollars?'

The mother replied, 'Of course, I would! We could really use that
money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great university!'

The boy then went to his sister and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad
Pitt for a million dollars?'

The girl replied, 'Oh, good heavens! I LOVE Brad Pitt and I would
sleep with him in a heartbeat. Are you nuts?'

The boy then went to his brother and asked, 'Would you sleep with
Brad Pitt for a million dollars?'

'Of course,' the brother replied. 'Do you know how much a million
bucks would buy?'

The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad.

His father asked him, 'Did you find out the difference between
'potentially' and 'realistically'?'

The boy replied, 'Yes, 'Potentially', you and I are sitting on three
million dollars, but 'realistically', we're living with two hookers
and a future congressman.'
Mitglied seit Aug 08, 2014   115 Posts
Oct 14, 2014 at 06:44
A woman returns to her car after shopping and is furious to find the side of her car is smashed in. On the windshield is a note. Relieved she picks it up and reads what it says: 'As I’m writing this a bunch of people are watching me. They think I’m writing down my name, number and insurance information. But I’m not.'
Mitglied seit Aug 08, 2014   115 Posts
Oct 14, 2014 at 06:45
A beautiful woman entered a bar and sat next to a lawyer. 'Listen honey,' she said, 'For $50, I'll do absolutely anything you want.'

The lawyer pulled fifty dollars from his wallet and said, 'Paint my house.'
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